It Hurts

Dear Blog,

IMU. Can we reconnect? *hugs* I’ve been really feeling korean songs lately – coming from the person who use to loathe being born of that ethnicity.  I think Subconsciously its my way with coping with things going on that side of my family and holding on to something that could instantly slip out of my hands. Countless blessings have come my way this year and I’m so thankful. With the company I work for doing so well the last couple weeks I only pray that I will be able to fulfill some big shoes and be a large player in the scheme of things. I never thought I would end up working in the technology industry but I have grown to love it and it helps me stay sharp. A lot of the times I feel like I dont fully grasp the technological details of everything but I love a challenge.

I look back a year ago and I remember still applying for jobs 6 months from graduating from BCIT. I was frustrated and angry. I remember sending my last cover letter for the night and saying to myself if someone would give me a chance, I know I would do everything in my power to make it worth their while. Fast forward to today and I still feel the same way. Don’t get me wrong. I work with an amazing team of people and my boss is what every employee dreams of but I would hate to disappoint the team and more importantly myself. But lately I’ve been asking where does work and my personal life find separation?

It has been a trying time for my family and I almost feel guilty for not devoting more time to them during this time. Luckily my foundation is rock solid meaning that my family is there to support me despite whatever else is going on. I’m definitely a princess coming to realize that its a cold world out there. Life aint always peachy but you can only control your controllables. Till next time blog!

xoxo

Empire State of Mind

Lately I’ve felt my motivation and inspiration slipping from the grips of my hands. I swore to myself to be a nicer and more optimistic person in 2010. I felt I was on track until this week. I let the smaller things of life get to me and forgot to leave the things that bothered me from work at the office. I was completely oblivious of all the blessings that have in my life and only focused on the negatives.

Yesterday  I was blessed with the opportunity to be apart of the Jake Milford Canucks Charity Invitational. I got to meet Luongo and chickened out on meeting other famous faces like Alex Burrows – damn you butterflies! Since that moment last night I felt a spark revived in my ambitions. The ultimate definition of success for me would be to carry out my dream and turn this AB farm girl into an Upper Eastside Diva in New York. Just thinking of the lights, fashion, and sheer size of the city all combined neatly into one place is enough to pull me out of any funk. I had the once in a lifetime chance this year to visit New York in style a la Mobio. Put up in the Marriott in Times Square, the NYC bug bit me hard. The trip solidified my dream.

Searching for some revival I spent the evening jamming out to Lady Gaga and drooling over some beautiful Louboutins. My lovely boyfriend and I checked out Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps and the fact that was based around obviously NYC was enough to get me pumped. I will continue to keep my dream alive and kicking. A famous quote was said during the movie: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome”. This struck a cord since my battle with my weight loss has been less successfully. I’m thinking about posting my daily success and document my progress as I go along. More to come.

xoxo

We Need A Resolution

I keep telling myself that 2010 is a time to clean up my act, health and finance wise. In the finance department that monster has been tamed for the most part but its health that I need to work on. For those weeks that I feel mentally and physically exhausted I just cannot seem to get past my mental barrier of negativity. During those days or weeks I often turn to my usual comfort vices: sugar and carbs. Its a vicious cycle of two steps forward and three steps back.

I listen to songs that channel my inner diva and she wants to burst free! Shortly after I look in the mirror and I realize there are so many things that I want to change about myself. I need to make a decision and stick to it. I’ve accepted that there are days where I will slide off the wagon but I beat myself up to the point where I feel like its easier to just give in. Ah the self-confidence battles of girl just trying to make a mark on the world. I’ll eventually win.

All in all, I can’t wait for friday so I can see the girls. Miss you ladies. They always help me put back the broken pieces.

The Winner

Today was filled of “rough” moments – I refuse to have a bad day, they’re counter productive. It was centered around a task that turned out to be more challenging than expected. What I love the most about my job is the constant opportunity for growth. I am well aware that you got to get uncomfortable to grow and I welcome pain. But sometimes I have to be reminded that the challenges prepare me for something great in the future.

As our wonderful intern and I roam the streets of Downtown Vancouver, we must have passed by at least two Ferrari’s and a Lamborghini. The thoughts that resonate throughout the day are: What will it take to be that person behind that car? and What has that person gone through to get to that point? We then walk by Holt Renfrew and I’m motivated to do what I got to do to get my Chanel Jumbo Classic in Black Lambskin and the holy grail for purse lovers everywhere, the Hermes Birkin bag. I have been blessed to be surrounded by men in their 30′s who have achieved great things and to learn off of but my insecurities often make me wonder if I will be able to stack up to them.  When those negative thoughts creep, I flush them out with some good old home grown hip hop by Drake (usually The Winner and Successful). A call with my boyfriend, close girlfriend, and a hug from my mother guarantees that I wake up strong the next day.

Everyday I thank a higher power for the people in my life for without them I would still be the little asian punk with a nasty attitude. I definitely think I have a guardian angel watching over me. My foundation is strong and I feel the love <3.

xoxo

Music is my boyfriend

I get this last minute invitation to my best friends birthday get together on facebook. My immediate feeling is one of anxiety. Why? Well lets just say my best friend and I are COMPLETE opposites. The only things we have in common are our morals and where we were born. This get together is consists of people from high school I have not seen in over 5 years and a couple of ex boyfriends! I’m stupidly competitive in some ways and I don’t want to come off as the girl who has gained excessive weight or has nothing going on in my life (yes, I’m insecure in many ways. It’s a work in progress, lets move on).

After a great night of laughs and drinks, I’m driving home blasting my favourite Lady Gaga song and it hits me. The only consistent thing in my life is music. Music has been an absolute essential in my life. It blows my mind how some people can be indifferent towards it. It has helped me ring in some phenomenal celebrations and taught me discipline through piano lessons. With that being said I thought it would be a fun to share a list of the songs that have great significance to me.

Wham! – Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go: My introduction to music. Got to LOVE George Michael.

Backstreet Boys – Get Down: First celebrity crush (Nick Carter) and the start of my interest in boys.

Nsync – Tearin Up My Heart: My first school crush

Spice Girls – Wannabe: Birth of my feminism (Sporty and Posh were my favourites)

Eminem – Slim Shady LP (album): Helped me fight through some dark days

Ja Rule – Always on Time: First serious relationship in high school

Avant – Making Good Love: Our song <3

Tamia – Officially Missing You: Our first breakup song

Vitamin C – Graduation: End of high school

Usher – Love In This Club: Post BCIT celebration

Jay -z feat. Pharrell – So Ambitious: Day of my internship interview

Drake – Successful: Job offer after my internship

Lady Gaga – The Fame: Birth of my blog

There are so many songs that are dear to my heart but this post would be endless. Music is constantly evolving and that’s what attracts me to it the most. I guess the more I grow the more sophisticated my tastes will get.

xoxo

Movies Under the Stars

After an endless afternoon of chores and errands, I was able to take the evening off and head down to Holland Park in Surrey to catch the last of the Movie Under the Stars presented by Downtown Surrey Business Improvement Association. Tonight’s movie was How to Train your Dragon. Great movie and great company. It’s definitely a movie worth a watch or two!

As I’m watching this movie, I remember what Surrey was like as a child growing up and what it has become now. It’s definitely cleaned up nicely but I feel is far away from being the next “Yaletown” as many of Surrey’s officials would like to portray.

Bite the Bullet

There has been this burning desire to get this blog started for a while now. Some of my thoughts behind the whole project were Do I even have time for this? Can my ghetto Mac book even create what I want to put forward into the blogosphere? What will I write about? etc. I’m certain these are generally thoughts any blogger who wants to take their craft seriously thinks. After 4 months and a simple hair dye experiment (that was a success by the way), I said to myself  ”fuck it, I’m going to do this”.

My humble blog is nothing compared to many of the rockstar blogs out there – especially in Vancouver. My main purpose for this blog is to use it as an outlet to be true to myself and figure out exactly who myself is without any reservations and fears. Corny? Perhaps. Exciting? Absolutely.

Welcome to the world of Di5co Champagne. Come to expect the expected and the unexpected. It’s going to be a fun ride =)